A Journey of Resilience: From Silence to Empowerment

Nepal has long been steeped in patriarchy, a society where daughters are often undervalued. My father, like many others, believed that a family was incomplete without a son. While my mother always envisioned a small family with just two children, my father was relentless in his pursuit of a male heir. This led to her giving birth to seven daughters—I am one of them.

Growing up, I witnessed the pain my mother endured. Marginalized and mistreated by her own family, she bore the brunt of an oppressive system. I vividly recall incidents of violence—moments that scarred my childhood. Once, my father hurled an entire bowl of hot food at her simply because the vegetable dish wasn’t salty enough. Financial dependence silenced my mother, creating a chasm in their relationship. My father, though hardworking, was absent in many ways. Fear defined our relationship with him. Even as his temper mellowed later in life, the wounds of his earlier behavior lingered, making it hard to build a bond.

But there was a turning point. Encouraged by her sister-in-law, my mother took a bold step and proposed separating from the joint family. Despite having no formal education, she ventured into a small retail business. Moving to a new locality and starting afresh was daunting, but she persevered. Slowly, her efforts bore fruit. With her financial independence came newfound confidence, and I began to see a shift in the dynamic between my parents.

However, the peace was short-lived. Nepal’s civil war, which raged from 1996 to 2006, shattered the sense of safety in our lives. Our hometown of Kirtipur, once a sanctuary, was no longer immune to the violence. Seeking safety and better opportunities, my parents sent my sisters and me to India for our education. The war left deep scars on Nepal, forcing many to flee the country in search of low-paying jobs due to a lack of skills and education. Women, often left behind, bore the burden of managing households with no secure income.

When I returned to Nepal in 2017, I was disheartened to find that the struggles had only deepened. Nearly 500,000 people were leaving the country annually. The stories of countless women, trapped in cycles of dependency, reminded me of my mother’s past. Yet, her journey also inspired hope. Financial independence had transformed her life, giving her a voice and the strength to make decisions for her family.

Fueled by her resilience, I decided to dedicate my life to empowering marginalized women. I witnessed firsthand how economic independence could change lives. I saw it in my own story—securing a job allowed me to surpass the expectations placed on me as a woman. Eventually, even my father, who once doubted our worth as daughters, acknowledged my capabilities. He realized that I was no less than any son and slowly began to change. Over time, his violence faded, replaced by pride and support for the work I was doing.

Today, I run my own business and lead a non-profit organization dedicated to uplifting women in our community. Remarkably, my father is now my strongest advocate. He stands proudly as the father of seven daughters, each thriving and contributing to society in ways that defy outdated norms. His transformation is a testament to the change that empowerment—both personal and societal—can bring.

Through our organization, we are working tirelessly to ensure that no woman remains silenced by financial dependence. We aim to create opportunities within our country, fostering resilience and hope among women, just as my mother once did and bring gender equality through financial independence. Together, we strive to build a future where every woman can find her voice, stand tall, and lead with strength and dignity.